17 February 2008 @ 02:14 pm

Yes. Yes. I am going to sell my flute. I got an increasingly positive feeling about yesterday as I polished it. My flute deserves to be in a symphony, in an ensemble, it deserves to come alive when someone breathes into it. My whole family covered their ears when I played ("TOO LOUD!" Only Sophie told me "loud but pretty!") and the cats fled for the hills. My embouchure is crap now with the missing tooth, and I think I need a tooth more than a fancy flute.

I've been watching auctions on ebay. One piece of crap flute nowhere near as nice as mine went for $2900 last night, and this one here
which isn't as nice either has a starting bid of $6500. Mine is younger, more "loaded" with options, hand-crafted in the heyday of the Haynes company, needs a little servicing, a trill cork, a couple new pads, but it plays like heaven in all registers.

I was surprised at all the feelings that came up with the flute as I took it to my dad's for a digital photo session.  The demands, the expectations of people, the anger I had over all of it. I was just a little girl. I named the damn thing Freddy. Selling the flute isn't getting rid of those memories. It is, however, acknowledging, once and for all, that I did not choose that path.  I liked playing in a professional symphony but that wasn't my thing--it just wasn't.

Being broke makes you look at stuff. When I wasn't broke, I didn't think about the value of my flute much or my relationship to it. I dragged it out every few months, played with some guitar boys at a bar mitzvah here and there. Heard "hey nice flute" from people who knew.

Now, watch me not be able to sell it. People buy all kinds of crap on ebay--they BETTER WANT TO BUY MY FREDDIE!
Current Mood: nostalgic