30 April 2007 @ 09:48 pm
Got an Rx increase at the shrinks. ^__^ Apparently, my crankiness of the last week could mean trouble? Alas, too much of a good thing sometimes makes me (literally) vomit. Hope this turns out ok. 

Posted parts four and five of Diaspora today and am already wanting to write more. No anti-depressant or anti-convulsant ever has any effect on my hyper-graphia. Don't know if that's a good thing or bad.

Children have been brats today but I love them so much. They tell you that your life will change when you have kids. Wrong. Life as you knew it disappears. They say that to have a child is to forever have your heart walking outside of your body. If that means you never thought you could love another person more than yourself and put another person's needs totally beyond yourself, then that's close to true. Sometimes I wish people knew what it was like--people who don't have kids, that is (or want them--those that don't want them--sometimes I wish I were you ...and less exhausted!)

There's no real explaining the experience. If you don't know it, imagining yourself as a parent is like imagining yourself as a silicon life form on another planet. It's so strange, so always strange and you can never imagine how strange. It's like having this demanding, willful, time-consuming monster tumor come out of your body and you love to look at it and coo and would give your life, kill, beg, or steal for its sake.

Sophie graduates synagogue-school kindergarden this week. Asher continues to be the most unfailing polite and kind little boy I've ever known and I don't deserve him (ah but Sophie makes up for it, though! XDXD)